There are times and circumstances when divorce is the only viable option of terminating your marriage. This is especially true in a case where your life and/or that of your children is in serious danger.
Regardless of your reason(s) for terminating your marriage, the after effects can be very traumatizing. This is not only to you but to kids as well. Indeed, the effects on children are often serious than the effects on you as a parent. This is simply because while some effects are immediate, others only become evident with time when the children have grown up.
Many research studies have been undertaken to ascertain both short and long-term effects of divorce on children. Some of the effects may prompt you to think twice before you file for divorce. The following are 10 worse effects that divorce has on children.
This is often the first worse effect of divorce on children regardless of their age. The absence of one of their parents takes a serious toll on their mind. Your children are bound to become emotionally distressed will most likely to withdraw from their friends.
The loneliness can be worse in a case where you relocate to another location. Your children will find it difficult to make new friends simply because of the feeling of fear and guilt. The problem of loneliness can be compounded in a case where you start dating soon after the divorce or when you need to work more than you used to do. This is because the time you have with your children will be very limited.
The constant feeling of fear of the unknown, the feeling of guilt and the fact that you have limited time for your kids will obviously force your children to devise ways of spending their time. This, unfortunately, makes the children develop unexplained anger toward you. They are bound to develop defiance tendencies that can be very problematic if not checked.
2. Poor Academic Performance
Several studies have been undertaken to identify the effect of divorce on the education of affected children. The results show a worrying trend.
According to research study results, children from divorced families generally record low academic grades. Indeed, the results show that most children of divorced parents rarely complete their high school education.
The drop in academic performance is attributed to both the psychological and behavioral changes such children go through. According to studies, such children remain very active while at school only to remain withdrawn when at home. In any case, their activeness at school is always not a healthy one. Most of such children develop bullying tendencies. They do so as one way of venting out their anger and frustrations for what they go through. .
3. Poor Health
The psychological stress that children of divorced parents go throw affect their health in different ways. Indeed, research studies have established that the health of such children is affected even in a case where either parent re-marries.
According to the research studies, your children are most likely to fall ill often. They are also more likely to sustain injuries compared to children living with all their parents. This can partly be attributed to the loneliness that your children feel. It can also be attributed to lack of sufficient care and guidance, which is only possible when two parents are present.
4. Insufficient Provisions
Divorce certainly affects the financial capability of the custodial parent to provide everything that children need. Although the custodial parent may have a decent income, the simple fact that he/she is the only provider means that provisions become limited.
There is no doubt that such a scenario affects your children. You are most likely to change residence after the divorce and will most likely live in a small house. The sudden change will affect your children psychologically. Furthermore, you will certainly not be in a position to provide your children with everything to the level that they are used to. This will also affect them negatively.
5. Drug Abuse
A big percentage of children who get involved in drug abuse is often that of children from divorced families. The loneliness, fear of the unknown and guilt pushes such children to find a way of comforting themselves. Most find that comfort in the misuse of drugs and alcohol.
This is a serious effect that you must remain alive to even as you file for divorce. It is serious considering that your children will misuse drugs, which will affect their education and social standing. Indeed, you may not avoid a scenario where your children grow only to engage in juvenile crime.
6. Poor Social Skills
Children from divorced families experience loneliness. That is a well-established fact. The loneliness makes it impossible for such children to interact with their peers. This, unfortunately, damages their social well-being.
Your children will develop hostility toward other children, a hostility that can extend to adults as well. They are also most likely to be shunned by their peers, which worsen their already precarious position.
7. Poor Conflict Resolution Skills
Marriages that remain intact is good for children. The fact that a couple is able to disagree and eventually come to an agreement has a positive effect on children. Such children grow up with the capacity to manage and resolve conflicts. Divorce denies children the opportunity to develop conflict resolution skills.
Terminating your marriage leaves you as the only adult parent they look up to. The fact that you do not enter into a disagreement with anyone denies your children the opportunity to learn how you resolve any conflict. The word “agreement” literally becomes a foreign language to them.
The fact that your children will not be able to resolve conflicts can be very serious. This is simply because they will not be able to resolve any conflicts affecting them when they grow to become adults.
8. Early Sexual Initiation
Children from divorced families are often initiated to engage in sex earlier than children from intact families. Indeed, research shows that children who grow up in the presence of both parents maintain their virginity until they are past adolescent stage. In contrast, most children from divorced families lose their virginity before they reach adolescence.
The fact that you are bound to be away from your children leaves them highly exposed. In addition to the loneliness that they feel, they are also most likely to engage in misuse of drugs. This eventually pushes them to engage sexual activities.
9. Negative Attitude toward Marriage
The early initiation of sexual activities, unfortunately, has long-term effects. The children eventually develop a negative attitude toward sex and marriage. They are most likely to have children out of wedlock and will not appreciate the importance of marriage as an institution.
For those children who get married, managing their marriage becomes a serious problem. This is simply because they lack conflict resolution skills. Indeed, research shows that children from divorced families who get married remain at high risk of terminating their marriage.
10. Poor Religious Faithfulness
It turns out that the effects of divorce on children are not limited to behavioral, health and psychological effects. Divorce also affects the spiritual well-being of affected children. Children from divorced families do suffer diminished faithfulness. Indeed, most abandon their faith to pursue what appeals to them, which includes sex and misuse of drugs.
Getting a divorce, therefore, puts your children at high risk of becoming unreligious. This deprives them of a wide range of benefits including happiness, moral teachings, obedience and many other benefits that only religion can provide.
These are the 10 worse effects of divorce on children. A close look at the effects brings out one unfortunate picture; the picture of a broken family unit. It is a fact that it is family units that hold communities and nations together. Indeed, it is within strong communities that children grow to develop and realize their potential. Although there are circumstances when divorce is the only viable option, it should always be the last resort. You need to explore other avenues of resolving family conflicts for the benefit of your children.