You date your partner for some time then come to an agreement that you get married and settle down. Whether or not you plan for and have a wedding, you will have some sort of honeymoon, which you will certainly look back at with happy and positive memories. By this time, you will have known and understood your partner and staying together simply means settling down and planning for your future as a couple. Without a baby, you definitely develop a way of doing things in the house with your focus in the house being satisfying the needs of your marriage partner. You pay attention to each other; constantly enquiring to know from each other how both of you spent your day.
The tight relationship in which care, understanding and constant healthy communication is the order of the day however changes with the arrival of a baby. The changes that come can seriously change your marriage and you need to be prepared for the imminent changes before the baby’s arrival. Some of the changes include:
1. Change in focus
If you are a woman, your focus will shift from your partner to your baby. You will pay a lot of attention to the baby to a point that your partner may have a feeling that you are ignoring him. You will direct your mind and energy to the baby in an effort to ensure that the baby stays healthy and comfortable. Although this is a natural process, you should spare some time and pay special attention to your partner. Try to balance your time between the baby and your partner. It is at this point that most men feel ‘unwanted’ and rarely spend their free time in the house.
2. Change in roles
The coming of a baby completely changes roles in the house. If you are only the two of you in the house, your male partner will be forced to undertake some roles that he may have not been used to. While this can be positive on the part of an understanding partner, it can be very negative on a man who does not have the understanding.
3. Change in sex frequency
While sex frequency when you were only the two of you may have been high, the arrival of a baby changes this completely. It is interesting to note that while it is medically advised that a married couple abstain from sex for at least six weeks upon the birth of a baby, your male partner (and some women too!) do not feel comfortable with such an arrangement. This is usually a challenging moment for first time parents, with the challenge increasing as days pass by. You as a woman are bound to loose interest in sex, out of feeling tired while caring for the baby most of the time. If your partner understands this, he will naturally take time in assisting the caring for the baby.
From the routine of buying your partner small gift items whenever you come across those that you know your partner likes, you shift to buying baby items on the arrival of a baby. This great change can seriously affect your partner if you do not handle it well. It is bound to create ‘jealousy’ between your partner and the baby. It is vital to sit down and talk as parents on what is to be bought.
These changes (certainly not conclusive) can have a serious impact on your marriage and it is important that both of you discuss the same long before the arrival of the baby. It is after such discussion that both of you will be prepared for changes to come.