What do you do when you discover that your boyfriend or spouse is mummy’s boy? Being mummy’s boy can make a man act in strange ways that can leave you shocked and traumatized. It can be very disturbing for your mother-in-law to talk to you about something that you discussed as a couple and that you consider being personal. You will certainly start to wonder how she came to learn about what you had discussed. In most cases, the way your mother-in-law may confront you may drive you crazy. It is highly likely that she will scoff at you for your opinion on what you had discussed with her son. You can easily have marital stress if you do not take care of mummy’s boy.
Generally, mummy’s boy is heavily attached to his mother regardless of age. Although healthy during childhood, for a man to be closely attached to his mother at a time he is supposed to be independent in various ways can have serious effects on the man’s personality. However, you may need to establish the nature of attachment your partner or spouse has with his mother before you take any drastic measures. Doing so will also enable you to decide the best way to help him because he may actually need help. Your partner or spouse may be attached to his mother for the following reasons and you can use the accompanying tips to deal with the same.
- Personality disorder – Your spouse may have a personality disorder that hinders him from making suitable decisions. He will not make any decision when you discuss anything as a couple, instead waiting to hear what his mum will have to say. You may need to seek professional medical help to assist him.
- Financial instability – your spouse may not have financial independence and will rely on her mother for all his financial needs. This particularly happens when he is unemployed and your own earnings do not meet all your family’s financial needs. If you are in steady employment, you can address this in a very clever way. While encouraging him to look for employment, you may also consider taking out a loan to enable him set up a business.
- Medical conditions – Your spouse may be suffering from a medical condition that makes it necessary for his mother to provide the necessary care. In order to severe the attachment, you must be ready to provide the care and convince your mother-in-law that you can take care of his son as she would.
- Emotional factor – Your spouse may be financially independent and healthy but have a strong emotional attachment with his mother. Some first and last-born sons are usually culprits. Having such a man requires a lot of patience and understanding, although it will definitely affect your marriage.
It is important to note that a mother’s boy cannot have a healthy relationship or marriage. It therefore means that you have a lot to do when you discover that your partner or spouse is mummy’s boy.
Although the actions of your mummy’s boy may annoy you to the extreme, you need to note that you can take advantage of the situation to fit in perfectly well with the family and obtain benefits therein. Clever women have taken the advantage of their mummy’s boy inability to handle women on their own to ‘share’ in the love and attention that their spouses give to their mums. To achieve this, you will need not to interfere with the attachment but instead be part of it. You will literally be ready to be ‘controlled’ by his mother as she does to his son. This way, your spouse is likely to be in agreement with you and treat you in the same way that he treats his mother. The secret is not to be ‘jealous’ of the attachment, even if you are always the subject of discussion. Once you fit in and become ‘accepted’ by his mum, such talk will cease.