What is infidelity and how do you catch a cheating partner?
Infidelity is defined as a violation of a coupe’s relationship contract. It is generally referred to as cheating, unfaithfulness, extra affair and adultery (for married couples).
There are different types of infidelity including opportunistic, obligatory, romantic and commemorative infidelity. Infidelity can be emotional without sex or involve extramarital or extra relationship sex. According to several studies, majority of men who get involved in infidelity do so purely because of sexual dissatisfaction. In contrast, women who cheat do so purely because they lack emotional attachment with their male partners. However, there are various other factors such as age that can push anyone into acts of infidelity.
It is impossible for any man or woman engaging in the act of infidelity to hide it. There are signs that will always give one away. The following are the top 10 signs of infidelity.
Your instinct is never completely wrong. It works like your sixth sense that tells you that something is wrong in anything that you do including in your relationship. The mere fact that you have become suspicious about your partner’s faithfulness to you should be enough to prompt you to look for other clues.
You need to determine whether or not you are a naturally suspicious individual. Since when did you become suspicious about your partner? What is it that prompted you to become suspicious and what did you do about it? It may just be the right time to look out for “supportive” clues, which can be any change in his/her general behavior whenever you are around, change in his/her body smell and any changes in his/her routine.
2. Sexless Relationship
This is often one of the most common signs of infidelity in marriage. It is not something that just happens. Your partner gradually becomes disoriented whenever you make moves or show signs that you are interested in sex. Your sex routine as a couple literally changes.
It is very important that you do not draw the conclusion that your partner is cheating should you notice that your sex routine has changed. You need to take your time to investigate the possible cause while putting your traps in place. This is because your partner may simply be stressed. You need to give him/her time to see whether or not his/her disinterest in sex continues. You also need to look for other clues that may help you unravel what he/she may be up to. Has his/her time of coming home suddenly changed? How regular is he/she on her phone or laptop chatting? Is this usual? These are just a few of the things you need to watch out for to catch a cheating partner. It is also important to evaluate yourself. Your partner may just be disoriented in sex because of a change in your tone and behavior.
This is another very common sign of infidelity especially in marriage. You live together with your partner and you can exactly tell where he/she is at any given time. You can also easily tell when he/she is about to arrive home. How do you explain the fact that he/she suddenly forms the habit that he/she arrives home either early or late depending on what he/she does for a living?
What kind of explanation(s) do you receive whenever when such happens? Do you receive any explanation(s) at all? Although it is not mandatory that you ask your partner why his/her schedule has suddenly changed, he/she should, as a matter of courtesy, be free and open to give you an explanation as his/her coming home early/late. Although coming home early or late is not always a sign of infidelity, you need to be concerned if it becomes a habit especially when no explanations are forthcoming. This may just be the right time to look for other clues that can confirm your fear. Watch for any change in your partner’s general behavior and tone especially when speaking to you.
4. Lack of Love and Attention
This is usually an open sign of infidelity in any relationship. You need to be concerned when your partner suddenly becomes irritable whenever you talk to him or try to introduce a conversation. It is a clear sign that he/she does not have time for your. His love and attention is directed at someone else.
However, the simple fact that your partner’s love and attention to you has changed may not mean that he is involved in infidelity. Take your time to understand why he/she has changed. Is it something you said to him/her yesterday or a week ago? Is it something bothering him/her? Is it about the kids (if any)? Is it about work or financial difficulties? Take your time to figure out what may be the problem before drawing any conclusion. You also need to look out for other clues. Simply try to figure out what makes him or her happy.
5. Love and Attention
Some cheating partners never withdraw their love and attention from you. Your partner will simply continue to love and give you all the attention you need. However, there will be a difference. The love and attention will just be too much, very unusual of him/her.
You need to be concerned when your partner suddenly turns out to be too caring. Gifting may be something to watch out for here unless it is your birthday or something similar. Just why has he/her become that generous, which is unusual of him/her? Your partner may just be covering his/her weak side that may give him/her away. This is the time to watch out for his/her other behavior especially when it comes to how regularly he/she uses his/her phone.
6. New Hobby
You certainly know what your partner likes and dislikes. You know what he/she spends his/her time on whenever he/she has the time. What about this new hobby or other interest he/she has never been involved in?
Although it is perfectly normal for each and every one of us to find new things to do, you need to be alarmed when your partner suddenly becomes involved in activity that he/she has never been involved in. This is especially true if the hobby or interest is one that means he/she will be away from you. It may turn out that he/she has been attracted to a hobby or activity that his/her new found love is involved in. Never rush things when such happens. Give him/her time while looking for other clues that will definitely show up. Watch out for any change in his/her attitude towards you and how regularly he/she uses his/her phone.
7. Absent Mindedness
Communication is very important for a healthy for any kind of relationship. What happens when you communicate only for your partner to ask what is it that you were saying? What does it mean when your partner is most of the time absent in the mind when you are together? You need to alert especially if he/she is in good health and is not undergoing any form of stress.
It is very easy for anyone to fail to listening to what you are saying when he/she is thinking of something or someone else. Your partner’s mind may simply be pre-occupied with thoughts about his/her new found love. What do you do? This is the time to ask the very important question “what is it”. Wait for and analyze the answer. Watch out for such an answer as “nothing” or a very long answer that may turn out to be either irrelevant or meaningless.
8. Poor Communication
This is often the easiest way of telling whether a partner is involved in acts of infidelity or not. You definitely know how your partner talks and behaves during regular conversation. Whether he/she likes it or not, your partner will always be poor in the way he/she communicates with you.
Poor use of pronouns will suddenly become common. He/she will always trail at the end of every sentence with some hesitations in between. He/she is also most likely to have a monotonous tone. There is really no waiting whenever you see these signs in your partner. Go straight to the point. Ask what he/she is up to. A cheating partner never has an answer to that kind of question. He/she will always remain silent, which should confirm your fear.
A cheating partner will always lie. Unfortunately for him/her and fortunately to you, such lies never last. He/she is most likely to contradict him/herself after a few minutes, hours or days.
Two things you need to look out for when you realize that your partner has developed the habit if lying is to watch for his eye and hand movements whenever she gives you an explanation. His/her eye movements will become excessive and the hands will always be making gesture in the air. More importantly, watch out if he/she touches his/her nose whenever he/she tries to explain something. Similarly, he/she will not be comfortable looking you in the eye.
10. Heavy Breathing
It is never hard to cover up infidelity regardless of how hard one tries to cover it up. One of the most common signs of infidelity that many whose partners cheat on them fail to recognize is heavy breathing.
Your partner, if he/she is involved in the act of infidelity, will always develop heavy breathing whenever you talk to him/her. This usually happens because of the fear of giving him/herself away when taking. Look out for heavy breathing in your spouse whenever you ask a question. Also watch out if his/her hands and face suddenly become pale in contrasts to the rest of her body.
What do you after confirmation that your partner is indeed, involved in act(s) of infidelity? Although different people react differently, it is always a good idea to ascertain what type of infidelity it is to inform you on the best action to take. It may be that it is you who needs to make some changes. It may also mean that your cheating partner needs your help to free him/herself from the infidelity. This is especially true if he/she is involved in either opportunistic or obligatory type of infidelity.